Seconds

6:59 am

Constantly running in circles inside my own head, I realised there’s no point of being sad all the time

Missing out on so much when I could just push this blue feeling aside and breathe for once; for myself

7:34 am

I decided that everything I do today will be entirely derived from that feeling of happiness

I say “that” because I’ve forgotten what “that” feels like

8:00 am

Body tired, soul tired, mind trying

trying or struggling why does it matter you know

9:58 am

Promises to myself, my past self, my future self

“All you need to do is, be happy, and you will be happy”

12:00 pm

Pen and papers with scribbles

School never taught me how to write happy

I never learned what it was like to draw happiness

But you know I decided everything I will write and draw from this day will be happy

1:00 pm

2:00 pm

3:00 pm

4:00 pm

5:00 pm

6:00 pm

7:00 pm

8:00 pm

9:00 pm

10:00 pm

11:00 pm

12:00 am

I’m so sorry

I never meant to forget what it was like to feel happy

and I know I promised I would write happy, draw happy, be happy

but I can’t

I don’t know how