Seconds

6:59 am

Constantly running in circles inside my own head, I realised there’s no point of being sad all the time

Missing out on so much when I could just push this blue feeling aside and breathe for once; for myself

7:34 am

I decided that everything I do today will be entirely derived from that feeling of happiness

I say “that” because I’ve forgotten what “that” feels like

8:00 am

Body tired, soul tired, mind trying

trying or struggling why does it matter you know

9:58 am

Promises to myself, my past self, my future self

“All you need to do is, be happy, and you will be happy”

12:00 pm

Pen and papers with scribbles

School never taught me how to write happy

I never learned what it was like to draw happiness

But you know I decided everything I will write and draw from this day will be happy

1:00 pm

2:00 pm

3:00 pm

4:00 pm

5:00 pm

6:00 pm

7:00 pm

8:00 pm

9:00 pm

10:00 pm

11:00 pm

12:00 am

I’m so sorry

I never meant to forget what it was like to feel happy

and I know I promised I would write happy, draw happy, be happy

but I can’t

I don’t know how

Communication

Hey, I made you a playlist for when you feel lonely

All I want - Kodaline

Fix you - Coldplay

Electric feel - MGMT

W.D.Y.W.F.M? - The Neighborhood

Mr Brightside - The Killers

Oceans - Coldplay

R u mine? - Arctic Monkeys

Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles

Do I wanna know - Arctic Monkeys

Alleyways - The Neighborhood

You rock my world - Michael Jackson

Still - The Japanese house

My blood - Twenty one pilots

You’re the best thing that ever happened to me Gladys Knight

Love really hurts without you - Billy Ocean

Once upon a dream - Lana Del Rey

Vincent - Don Mclean

Electric love - Borns

Silence

You like it better when I shut up

you like it when I sit still like a silhouette behind you

so you can’t see through me

so I don’t walk against the lines drawn for me

How dare I go out and stop you

how the hell am I supposed to please you

with that mouth

with words like no coming out

Girls like me deserve to be kept hidden

swept under the rug

where you can step on them

where you can easily silence them

But don’t you realize I’m still going to be here?